In This Season

 

May the spirit of this holiday season - love, generosity and goodwill 

reign in our hearts always. 

Happy Holidays!

In Forgiving

a rose bloom

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is oneself.

Missing Cliff

Cliff, our missing "baby"

It has been a month since Cliff went missing. And I miss him so much. We all miss him a lot. I just hope he’s in good health with a safe place to seek shelter in case of rain and cold wind (especially as it is getting cold here now), enough clean food and water to survive living alone outdoors.

Cliff with his elder brother, Felix

Whenever I look at his photos, a big part of me feels his loss. Of course they bring back good memories of him… but I couldn’t help feeling so sad that he’s not around anymore. And I particularly miss him at night as he loves to curl up beside me. Now we only have Felix snuggling and nuzzling as we sleep.

Cliff in our garden

I’m still clinging to the idea that he’ll come home to us although I know that as days pass, the chances of finding him is getting slimmer and slimmer. If we only knew he wouldn’t come back when he went out for his ramblings, we wouldn’t have let him out of the house that day.

Cliff and Felix grooming each other

In addition, I feel so guilty because that morning, I was so sleepy that I asked my husband to just give him some food.  I didn't give him the usual crooning and fussing he's so used to have.  I feel so bad because maybe he thought we don't love him anymore and so he run away *sob*. I blame myself for losing him, making it more difficult for me to accept the ideathat we might not see Cliff again *sniff*.  How I wish I could turn back time, at least to that particular day.

We miss you so much Cliff.

I really, really hope Cliff is doing alright. I don’t mind if he found another home as long as I know he’s happy and safe (although it would be a lot better if he would come back to us.) He would remain our “baby” wherever he is and we would always love him.

Heart's Song

a tit/chickadee in La Reunion, France

Sitting under the sun, feeling the warmth seep through my body, 

chasing away the coldness of the lonely days gone by, I feel my spirits rise.

I hope this lasts until my heart finds once more the ode it sings.

Lost In Uncertainty

troubled sea in the southern part of La Reunion, France

Although hope helps you to get through a rough time, the light at the end of a long dark tunnel, a sliver of sunshine on a cold winter day, it can also freeze everything for you --- life can be like a drop of rain suspended on the tip of a leaf, like a dandelion seed head caught on a flimsy strand of spider web fluttering at the slightest breeze, like a piece of cork bobbing up and down with the changing tides of the sea. Hope can either make you see a glass half-full or turn your future in a state of limbo.

In Seeking

a common foxglove (Digitalis purpurea) in our garden

To look is to see… to hear is to listen… to feel is to experience.

To know is to understand… that we may find what is real.

Sub Divo

sunset in Paphos, Cyprus

Under the vast sky

Looking at the wide open sea

All means nothing…

All means everything

Crossing Fingers

 a garden rose bathed in late afternoon sunlight conveying an image of hope

We received two different phone calls a few days ago about Cliff. The callers saw our cat in a farm field about a kilometre or two away from our home. Since the first call, we have been concentrating our search in that area… but to no avail *sad*

Cliff in hunting "mode" in our garden

But at least we know that Cliff is well and unhurt. We are afraid he got trapped somewhere and couldn’t get out (with no food and water)… or worse, got injured and hiding in a corner of a place unknown to him, alone, hungry and hurting. Knowing he’s okay is already a big relief for us even though we still haven’t found him.

a white Dog rose (Rosa canina)

A number of people in the neighbourhood (where Cliff was last seen) own cats. This means Cliff can always find food in the nearby houses when he gets hungry. There are also barns and sheds where he can take shelter when it rains and sleep when he gets tired. But, of course, it would a lot better for him and for us if we can find and take him home.

Cliff sleeping in my arms

There are around three cats that resemble Cliff in that neighbourhood. Although this could mean that they could have been the cats that the callers saw, still, my husband said they must know these cats (as they live in that neighbourhood). Besides, they must have believed it was Cliff they saw, or else, they wouldn’t make the effort of informing us about our cat’s whereabouts.

a pink Dog rose in morning sunlight, another image of hope

I just wish we would find Cliff… or Cliff finds his way back to us. We all miss him, especially when it’s time for his meals and naps and he would usually go home bouncing on his paws, ready for a cuddle before he eats or sleeps. I miss his purring, his paws kneading my side or arms as he cuddles and sleep next to me. I hope he’s safe and sound wherever he is. I hope he’s not too scared and confused in a strange place. And I earnestly hope to wake up with him waiting outside our door.

photo of Cliff we used for the "missing cat" flyers

We love and miss you so much, Cliff.

Searching For Cliff

Cliff as a kitten

Just as I was thinking of talking about Cliff, the latest addition to our family, he went missing since last Saturday *sad*.

Cliff on a tree

We don’t know whether he got lost in one of his rambling in the neighborhood or the nearby woods... or something bad happened to him (which I fervently hope not!). All we know is that he went out for his usual morning walk and he hasn’t come home since then.

Kitty Cliff in our garden

He is very regular with his comings and goings --- would go out and come home at the same time several times a day. He never fails to respond and run home every time we call his name, wherever he is. When he’s out and we’re in the garden, he would show up and stay with us. He takes his nap with me everyday and would spend all day at home when there's a thunderstorm (he's afraid of thunder and lightning). That’s why we were so worried when he didn’t come home for his usual nap last Saturday.

And we have been searching for him since then. We asked our neighbors, distributed leaflets with his picture, feline identification code and our contact number in the neighborhood mailboxes, the vet clinic, the city hall. We also contacted the nearest animal shelter, the feline registry and local police in case someone found our cat.

Cliff's first snow

And we keep calling his name several times a day so he can find his way home if he got disoriented and afraid due to the thunderstorms the first two days he has been gone (the rain might have washed the scent marks he made). But until now, he's still missing *sniff*.

Cliff's first Christmas

He’s a very gentle, innocent-looking cat. He’s about 14 months old and has been with us since he was still a wee kitten being nursed by his mother (she and her litter of three were in our garden until the kittens are weaned). One of his brothers (Jack) died, the other (Junior) went missing (we never found him after he disappeared) before we get to adopt them. And now, Cliff, the last of the litter, is missing (but I do hope we won't lose him permanently).

I really pray that we either find Cliff or he finds his way back to us. There is a void at home now that he's gone. He likes following us inside the house and in our garden, loves brushing against our legs, never in a bothersome manner. He enjoys being cuddled and fussed about but he wouldn't press for attention when he sees us busy. He would just quietly lie down near our feet, enough to be close but sufficiently far so as not get in our way. So we really feel his absence.

Felix and Cliff

It’s very depressing not to have him around. We fondly call him “stuff toy” because he has a very soft thick fur, we never heard him hissed nor seen him "moody" and he would always purr whenever we caress him. He’s really sweet like his brother, Felix. It may sound silly to some but it’s really, really sad to lose him. We love our cats very much.

the brothers in our garden

Even Felix is so dispirited since his brother has been gone --- he’s not as perky and cheerful as before. He visits and sniffs Cliff's favorite "spots" inside the house and in the garden, trying to "see" if his brother has been there and would stay for sometime by our gate or by the window, looking like he's waiting to see Cliff run towards home (just like us). When he goes out, he would come home covered in spider web, dust or leaf debris because he would look in our neighbors' barns and sheds for his brother (they have the same mother).

The two cats really got along well hence, Felix misses his brother, playmate and companion... as much as we do.

Cliff, taken last month

I hope we find Cliff soon. I hope he finds his way home if he was lost. I hope he didn't get sick and was afraid during the two days it rained after he disappeared from home. And most importantly, I hope he’s not hurt, suffering and alone in a place strange to him. We all miss him.

We wouldn't stop looking for him. We'll keep calling out his name so he can find his way back to us. Please, please... I ask the heavens above... let our baby come home to us.

After A While...

red poppies in our garden

Whew ! I believe it has been more than a year and a half since my unplanned hiatus from blogging. Well, I’m back in my element now (at least, I think I am) and I plan to make up for my absence *smile*.

wild geranium

And speaking of elements, it seems that this year’s seasons are out of synch with the time of the year. After a harsh and very cold winter, spring came early and it was already summer-like by March. It was dry and sunny until June (except a few bizarre snow episodes in the mountains). And now that everybody is expecting more sunshine days, July had been morose and wet. I don’t know what August would be like but I wouldn’t be surprised if winter comes early this year (still, I hope we will have more warm days).

rudbeckia

Well, the sun has come out. I’d better make the most of its fleeting presence before rain and gray clouds hamper the summer air (again) *winks*.