In Forgiving

a rose bloom

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is oneself.

Missing Cliff

Cliff, our missing "baby"

It has been a month since Cliff went missing. And I miss him so much. We all miss him a lot. I just hope he’s in good health with a safe place to seek shelter in case of rain and cold wind (especially as it is getting cold here now), enough clean food and water to survive living alone outdoors.

Cliff with his elder brother, Felix

Whenever I look at his photos, a big part of me feels his loss. Of course they bring back good memories of him… but I couldn’t help feeling so sad that he’s not around anymore. And I particularly miss him at night as he loves to curl up beside me. Now we only have Felix snuggling and nuzzling as we sleep.

Cliff in our garden

I’m still clinging to the idea that he’ll come home to us although I know that as days pass, the chances of finding him is getting slimmer and slimmer. If we only knew he wouldn’t come back when he went out for his ramblings, we wouldn’t have let him out of the house that day.

Cliff and Felix grooming each other

In addition, I feel so guilty because that morning, I was so sleepy that I asked my husband to just give him some food.  I didn't give him the usual crooning and fussing he's so used to have.  I feel so bad because maybe he thought we don't love him anymore and so he run away *sob*. I blame myself for losing him, making it more difficult for me to accept the ideathat we might not see Cliff again *sniff*.  How I wish I could turn back time, at least to that particular day.

We miss you so much Cliff.

I really, really hope Cliff is doing alright. I don’t mind if he found another home as long as I know he’s happy and safe (although it would be a lot better if he would come back to us.) He would remain our “baby” wherever he is and we would always love him.

Heart's Song

a tit/chickadee in La Reunion, France

Sitting under the sun, feeling the warmth seep through my body, 

chasing away the coldness of the lonely days gone by, I feel my spirits rise.

I hope this lasts until my heart finds once more the ode it sings.

Lost In Uncertainty

troubled sea in the southern part of La Reunion, France

Although hope helps you to get through a rough time, the light at the end of a long dark tunnel, a sliver of sunshine on a cold winter day, it can also freeze everything for you --- life can be like a drop of rain suspended on the tip of a leaf, like a dandelion seed head caught on a flimsy strand of spider web fluttering at the slightest breeze, like a piece of cork bobbing up and down with the changing tides of the sea. Hope can either make you see a glass half-full or turn your future in a state of limbo.

In Seeking

a common foxglove (Digitalis purpurea) in our garden

To look is to see… to hear is to listen… to feel is to experience.

To know is to understand… that we may find what is real.